So much to write about ...

... but there seems to be so little time in which to organize my thoughts, much less write them down.

I prayed the other day, while driving all over creation for work. In my prayer, I decided to test the oft quoted, "ask and ye shall receive, knock and it shall be opened unto you". I fervently asked that my interest in my meditation practice be focussed once again. For a time, stress had permeated most aspects of my life, and meditation had sadly started to feel like a chore.

That night as I sat before my altar lighting candles, a sweet peace washed over me, and I felt at home, at ease - feelings that had abandoned me when I succombed to the high emotional charge that had been filtering into my every waking moment.

When we take the time to shed the daily grind, and instead focus inward and Upward, inviting the Divine Presence to enter our hearts and lives, nothing can stop us. I truly believe this. I just also tend to forget it, as we are all so prone to do.

Consider yourself reminded. :)


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Epiphanies

I told you that I got promoted - well, it entails a lot of driving around, from school to school, appointment to appointment. In this time, I usually sing (poorly) along to the radio. Sometimes, if the distance is great enough to allow it, I call up a friend and chat for a few minutes. Catching up can be so hard to do with hectic schedules, so I am thankful for the breaks in my day that driving allows. However, my favorite way to pass the time is by spending time in quiet reflection - nothing but the sound of my own wheels whistling along the highway and the thoughts in my head to keep me company. It was on Wednesday, during one such period of introspection, that I had an Epiphany:

I have been fighting against my true nature for too long now. As a bi-polar, stress - no matter the level - has in the past sent me into a panicked manic state. Naturally, I find that unpleasant, and try my best to reduce or eliminate stressors, in the hopes of likewise eliminating the manic upsets. However, I have been living a life of careful control for far too long! I realized on Wednesday that, as I have matured and grown, I thrive on a little bit of controlled chaos. I find the stability that I've striven for, for so long now, to be stifling, leading to nothing but stagnance, leaving me feeling miserable.

This job change is perfect for me. My schedule remains the same from week to week, more or less - which provides the little bit of stability that I recognize that I do need. But what I do from week to week changes, providing me with the trill of a challenge.

I give thanks to the Powers That Be that such a windfall, such a blessed change of pace, has literally fallen into my lap. I pray that I will have the strength to take on such a challenge head on, and shoulder it with relative ease. And poise. I hope for poise. :)

Climbing the not-so-corporate ladder

My boss approached me last Wednesday with an interesting proposition. After discussing it with The Wife, I accepted.

But first, a bit of back story:

From February to November of 2008, I was a Roadie for the Music Company that I work for. Kind of. I mean, I was on the road a lot. I visited Middle and High School orchestra directors in cities surrounding Home Base (ie: the Corporate Office) and provided services and supplies. It was a great gig, but it was fast paced and high stress. I didn't handle those parts very well, so in October or so, I asked to go back to the store and do sales there.

They agreed. And so it was that, after they found a replacement for me (whom I trained), I went back to store clerk-dom.

Well, the replacement didn't work out so much. Without going into details here, suffice it to say that my manager approached me with a Question:

Would I like to go back to being a Road Representative for the company?

My answer was a resounding, "Yes".

So I'm settling into my new-old routine, and loving it. I feel, in my heart of hearts, that I am better equipped to handle whatever stresses may come my way this time around.

You know what's funny? With the faster pace, I was anticipating having to eat more to compensate for the energy expended. Oddly enough, I've found the opposite to be true - I'm perfectly content with my PB&J sammitch that I bring for my lunch-on-the-fly. I've started eating the "25% less sugar" counterpart of the Quaker Oats Chewy Granola Bar I used to eat for breakfast. After a few days of my body going into shock in the mornings ("ZOMG, WTFBBQ? Less SUGAR??"), I've adjusted quite nicely, and only need the one bar to tie me over 'til lunch time.

And, as long as I play my cards right (ie: coming in to work at 7:25 am), I can leave a little earlier than I used to as a clerk. Instead of pulling a 9 - 6 shift, I'm doing a 7:30 - 4:30 shift. I'm rather liking it. Right now, I'm spending most of that evening time gearing up for the move, but soon --very soon-- I want to be using the time to do more yoga and maybe even walk around the neighborhood.

Anyway, that's what's keeping me away from the keyboard lately. Wish me luck on this new adventure!