Avast!

My dreams, which have so long been only that, are finally taking shape.

7 months.

In seven months, I'll have my car paid off and my student loans will be a thing of the past. If I can bring myself to live at home for a little longer after that, I can amass quite a nest egg.

Allow me to tell you a bit about myself. I'll be 22 in a little over a month, and I'm living at home. Yes, with my parents. And my 16 yr old brother. I dropped out of full-time acadamia last November to better get my feet under me. Long story. I moved back in with my folks at that time, amidst much pressure to re-enroll in school and to come back to the Mormon church. Despite all that, I knew moving in was the best thing for me to do at the time. There was no rent to pay, and I could keep to myself (mainly because I made my needs known, and pretty much told them to leave me alone if I needed to be left alone), and I'd be surrounded by loved ones, even if things were tense.

I believe I've been a catalyst for change (and growth) in my family. Over the past two years they've come to accept me for who I am, which went against everything they felt drawn to believe- I'm a sometimes rebellious, non-conformist, hippy/lesbian, and they had a hard time swallowing that. I wasn't in-your-face about any of the changes... that's why it took two years. As I slowly awakened to who I am (which is a process that's still going on), I slowly asked for the acceptance and love I had felt when I lived up to their every expectation of Mormon adolescent bliss.

When I was living on my own, I was waitressing at the Olive Garden. I transferred locations when I moved back in with the 'rents. I hated it. Waitressing is a hard profession, and often thankless. So I took a job at Starbucks. It paid less and had even more demanding hours (entering the store and setting up at 4:30 AM), but it was a blast. I was smiling again, and that was something I had almost forgotten how to do. Shortly after that, a receptionist position literally fell in my lap, and that's where I find myself today, six months later. It's demanding in it's own way, but it's rewarding in ways I've never experienced. And the pay is better. :D

So, my dreams.

I have every intention of going back to school full time. I may even go back to being a music performance major, like I was before dropping out (I'm a classically-trained Violist, and I haven't so much as touched my instrument since last November; a sabbatical of sorts). But not yet. There's so much life to live, so many places to explore, and I want to do it while I'm still young.

I've always wanted to travel the world, but never really thought it was feasible. After literally years of depression, I've started to dream again, and what I'm trying to say is that they all seem possible for the first time! After paying off bills, I'll be free to save my hard-earned money. With said savings, I can take extended vacations from work, or quit entirely and explore the ruins in Rome, or connect with the energies of Stonehenge, or live in England for a year.

And then there's Antarctica, a passion of mine since I first read a blog about life in a camp there 6 months ago. There are camps down there that need staff to keep them running. There are janitorial positions, food prep jobs, and even fuel-delivery. Menial labor, yes, but what an adventure that would be! I would love to sit my (as yet unborn) children and granchildren around me and tell tales of my adventures working in a science camp in the southernmost part of the world. Who else can claim that?

Though all of these things are still just out of reach of my fingertips, they're there. I can see them.

I'm experiencing a love of life and hope for the future that has long been absent, and I thank the Powers That Be for that.


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