numerology and dreams

My best friend, Nykki, wrote an e-mail to me this morning giving me a link to a Numerology website. My Numerology report took me by complete suprize. It said :

YOUR LIFE PATH AS AN 8:
As an essential 8 your primary purpose in this life is to accept power, success and affluence as you apply yourself in service toward a higher good for all. You will most likely learn to reach a position of power or success in this life, but first you must come to accept and recognize your own successes for the good and positiveness that they hold. There may be issues of money, power or control that you will face throughout your life as you learn the lesson of material success. Eventually you will see that your own powers and earning potential are your unique key to achieving the prosperity you need for purchasing tools and acquiring skills for helping others. In your own success is for the good of others and this helps to drive you on toward a new awareness of your true life purpose. Because of any feelings you may have to be in extreme control of others you will eventually come to lead those around you to the same success, but this is not the same as attempting to control those who do not follow your directions or do things the way you do. Remember that all is "as it should be" and that you can lead best by being silent and providing an example for others to follow.

It made us both remember my dreams of teaching viola, performing in symphonies (as a soloist, natch) ... Said Nyyki, "You have the kind of mind that would work well in constructing either musicians or instruments", and I tend to agree.

My response?

Especially after the dreams I've had lately where I felt like flying because I was so happy to be performing, I'd like to see me get back into music again too. I envy my peers who are living off of loans or off of mommy and daddy and don't have to face the things I'm facing or do the things I'm doing. Maybe they just choose to turn a blind eye to reality - but I, I feel weighted down by constant reality, and I long for the days, short lived though they were, where I had few cares or worries. Mind you, I realize I have it relatively easy now, but my goal is to get debt behind me, get savings under me, get travel in me, and then go back to school.

Look at me. I'm happy enough to be dreaming again. And not only that, these dreams could easily become reality, and I'm taking steps to make them so. (insert corny star trek joke here).

Life's not so bad right now. Yes, I feel weighted down by the pressure of coming to a job, day in and day out, that doesn't stimulate me mentally, and yes I feel the pressure that only debt and constant penny-pinching bring, but I'm content with waiting this phase out, weathering through it and learning from the things that are there to teach me - about dependability, budgeting, maintaining (relatively) rosy spirits in the face of extreme monotony and soul-crushing boredom, facing stress with grace, learning to interact well with peers ...

Still, I miss school. I miss the outlet that only pouring one's heart out through a well-prepared performance can bring. I miss it. I miss it.