Jinx

I think I jinxed myself with the post in which I expressed my anxieties about work, for no more than one week later, I was called into a meeting wherein I was told, in no uncertain terms, that my job was officially on the line.

Though it may not have in actuality caused a hex to fall upon me, I am thankful that I wrote the post. Had I not written things hypothetically in my defense, I may not have had the presence of mind to answer when asked what I had to say for myself in the meeting.

For about a week I wallowed in self pity. During that week, I seriously considered quitting. To say that I was distraught would be a gross understatement. But, breaking the mold of my usual behaviour, I picked myself up by my bootstraps and threw myself into my work.

For weeks, I did everything I could think of to stay productive. I also became more proactive. When things came up, either positive or negative, I kept my manager abreast of the situation. I asked my coworkers lots of questions and learned from their examples.

About a week ago, I went to a convention with two of my coworkers, and the owner of the company (the one who spearheaded the meeting). I was a bit nervous at the start, but I really feel like I came into my own very quickly.

I felt like the owner was sizing me up. Many times, when I was alone in our booth (selling orchestra supplies), I'd catch a glimpse of the owner in my peripheral vision; he was undoubtedly watching me, I feel to judge my performance. As the convention progressed, I noticed subtle changes in the way he addressed me. On the (six hour) ride home, my coworker, without me prompting her, said she noticed the same.

I came home from the convention a different employee, and for the better. I bonded with my coworkers. I gained a little respect from my boss. I feel more confident. It was a good trip.

Yesterday, the owner called me into his office and sat me down. He told me he was hiring another woman to fill a similar position to mine. I kept my cool, but I couldn't help but wonder if he was finally replacing me. And then he said something that floored me: "This is in no way a demotion. I see you're becoming more assertive, and maturing in your position. I like that, and I want to see it continue."

She will be taking a bit of my work load, so I may be put in the retail store for one day per week. Not a terrible thing. It'd offer me a bit more flexibility, and has a lot of potential for what I want to do down the line ... which I'll tell more about later.

For now, this is enough. Things are going better, and I'll leave it like that.

G'night.